


Saeran

by fuwafuwagem



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Drabble Collection, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-20 00:09:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15521760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuwafuwagem/pseuds/fuwafuwagem
Summary: Drabbles from Tumblr that I posted which focus on Saeran~





	1. Paradise

I put on my mask and head to the apartment.

She said she would go, but I have to go there myself and make sure she really does. I can’t have her blabbing about me if she changes her mind.

I can’t believe I’ll get to see her soon.

I’ve been watching her online for months. The pictures she posts, the status updates. Even her medical records and CCTV footage.

She has become a part of my life. I feel so close to her.

What is this feeling? A warmth within me that makes my heart flutter.

It feels good. I’m excited.

The building is quiet. Nobody saw me come in. I find a place out of sight to wait for her.

MC.

My heart feels ticklish.

She hasn’t even joined the RFA yet and already I’m dreaming of the day when I get to bring her to Magenta.

I want her.

I want her smile to be mine, her eyes to look at only me. I want to touch her hair and hold her hand and-

I’m getting a bit ahead of myself. She isn’t even here yet.

I wonder if she will make me happy.

I’m sure she will.

We’ll smile together.

And laugh.

Maybe we can share ice cream like I used to do with-

NO!

She won’t be like him.

She won’t abandon me.

We will be in Paradise. She’ll never want to leave.

She’ll be so grateful to me for saving her.

She will love me.

She will be mine.

Forever and ever, in our eternal paradise.

Ah, she’s finally here.

MC, wait for me. We will be together soon.


	2. Firsts & Lasts

_The first time I sat in front of the computer_

My heart raced. Was this what it was like for him? I felt so close to him as I tapped at the keyboard. I was slow at typing and it took a long time for me to create even the simplest of programs. But I got faster. I got better.

_The first time I put in my contact lenses_

I felt a bit anxious. The thought of putting some foreign object into my eye made my hands tremble and I almost dropped the tinted lens twice before I got it in place. I didn’t want to wear glasses but sitting in front of the glaring monitor for so many hours had ruined my eyesight. This was my only other option. At least I could see, and the green tint made me feel less like him.

_The first time I bleached my hair_

I had no clue what I was doing. I rubbed it into my hair like shampoo. It burned so much I thought I’d cry, but pain was something I was growing used to, and I grit my teeth until I was ready to wash the bleach out. I was so shocked at my appearance. It wasn’t perfect, but most of the vibrant vermillion was gone. My hair was white except in the places I’d not applied the bleach properly, and even that was pink. I was no longer a red head. I was no longer the boy who was abandoned. I was changing myself. It felt good.

_The first time I saw her_

My heart fluttered in my chest. She was perfect. Her personality drew people to her. She was so lovely. I decided right then that she would be mine. Once she had done what I needed her to do, I would bring her to paradise to spend forever with me. I was feeling less alone already.

_The last time I saw them_

She said yes. He even got down on one knee, a total Prince Charming. I could barely watch, but the members of the RFA cheered and congratulated them. I don’t fit in here, and when I see those two together I can’t help but feel a bit of the old resentment. I know that Saeyoung wasn’t really to blame, but I can’t rid myself of this bitterness completely. And seeing him with her, I don’t think I ever will. I’m still alone. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know who I want to be. I think I should leave while they are all distracted. I need to find out who Saeran Choi is, but I can’t do it from this bunker.

_I’m sure this won’t be the last time I see them._

_But I need to discover who I am for the first time._


	3. Backwards

The bathroom door jammed.

MC pulled the door handle but it would not budge.

She was trapped.

She was locked in.

Her heart began to pound.

That room.

That beautiful room.

It had been a prison that she could not leave.

He had locked her in.

MC collapsed, her heart racing, her whole body trembling, the tears falling so fast it hurt. She could barely breathe.

“MC? Are you okay?”

It was him.

The one who trapped her.

But that wasn’t who he was now.

Was it?

The door handle rattled.

“MC?”

His voice was higher, tinged with panic, and the door handle rattled with more force until finally the door burst open.

Saeran stood there, his eyes wide with concern and he reached out to help her.

She flinched.

 

Oh. God. What have I done?

Saeran stepped away as MC got to her feet, realising what she had just done.

Saeran forced a smile.

“I’ll make you some tea to help you calm down. Go rest on the bed.”

MC nodded, still trembling and looking so small.

Saeran headed to the kitchen and filled the kettle.

She was trapped in there.

She was terrified.

It’s all my fault.

He put a tea bag in a cup and took a breath.

I trapped her.

I should have realised sooner how much I scared her.

I’m such…

An airhead.

I don’t deserve her.

I never did.

I’m an idiot.

She’s too good for me.

He looked up, his face reflected in the murky glass of the window.

Ray, you will never be good enough.


	4. Love Hurts

_I had a dream about you._

In it, I was a child again, scared and alone, bound, bruised. I could see myself reflected in a mirror. My eyes were bloodshot, red from the hours of crying. I stared into myself. Self-loathing filled me.

But then you walked into the room.

My eyes lit up

_The way they do when I see you now._

My heart fluttered

_The way it does when I’m with you here._

I reached out for you

_The way I want to when we’re together._

But you walked to the mirror.

You reached inside.

It wasn’t a mirror at all.

The glass was shattered. What I thought was my reflection was my brother, my twin, my other half.

You took his hand.

You saved him.

 

I woke up.

I wanted you to save me.

But you chose him.

I wanted you.

I want you.

But you chose my other half.

I’m not alone, but it’s still lonely.

You’re his, and he is yours, and I feel just as lost as ever.

It hurts.

Loving you hurts.

But I’m used to pain.

I’ll keep hurting.

Because as long as I can feel something, I’ll be fine.

As long as I can see you, I’ll be fine.

Even if it’s as your brother-in-law.

MC…

_I will always love you_


	5. A Cosy Night In

Saeran rubbed the bridge of his nose and stifled a yawn. He’d been sat in front of the screen all day. He wasn’t as used to it any more as he had once been, and his eyes felt tired. His back ached. He was hungry.

  _God, I’ve changed._ He grinned. _Yes, I’ve changed._

 Getting up from the desk, he stretched his arms upwards, his shirt riding up to reveal the little stomach he had been cultivating.

 “Saeran?”

 MC’s voice came from the direction of the kitchen, and Saeran couldn’t help but smile at hearing her, as melodic a sound to him now as it had ever been.

 “I’m coming,” Saeran called back and headed to the kitchen.

 MC was stirring something on the hob, and the strong smell that filled his nostrils told him immediately that she was making a curry. She had a taste for spicy food that he had started to share, and he found that he was beginning to salivate. He was hungrier than he thought. He reached out and placed his hands on her hips, tucking his fingers under the waistband of her lounge pants so he could feel her skin.

 “You hungry?” MC asked, a smile on her lips.

 “Ravenous,” he whispered, kissing her neck gently. “Is there anything I can help with?”

 “I’m done,” she said, bumping him gently out of the way with her hip so she could serve their meal. “Hope you like it.”

 MC dished up their plates and they took their place at the dining table, their feet brushing together as they ate.

 “This is good,” said Saeran. “My tongue is on fire though.”

 “Ice cream for dessert then?” MC laughed, as Saeran gulped down a glass of water.

 “But it tastes so good,” he gasped.

 “I’ll make it milder next time,” MC giggled as she ate the curry comfortably. “You’ll get used to the heat eventually.”

 Saeran smirked, but said nothing, eating and chugging the cold water until his plate was empty. “Let’s leave the dishes for the morning,” he said, taking both his and MC’s plates to the sink. “Let’s snuggle up on the sofa eating ice cream.”

 “Sounds good to me,” said MC, and she disappeared into the living room.

 Saeran smiled, feeling warm and relaxed, partly because of the heat of the curry, but mainly because his love for MC warmed him. He felt the butterflies dancing in his stomach as he imagined himself wrapped up with her on their sofa, warm and safe. His body tingled. After a deep breath, he calmed himself and got the ice cream.

 MC was already snuggled up on the sofa under a blanket when Saeran got back to her. He handed her a bowl and joined her.

 “This is nice,” she said, smiling wistfully as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “I wish every day could end like this.”

 “It can,” said Saeran. “It really can. Every day for the rest of our lives can end this way.” He chuckled. “Burning our mouths with hot curry, then stuffing our faces with ice cream.”

 She shoved him, but laughed too. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

 “I know,” he replied. “Ending the day with you in my arms, it sounds perfect to me.”

 He leaned in and kissed her, her lips cold from the ice cream, but her tongue sweet and warm against his own. He trailed his fingers under her shirt, her skin soft and smooth and pressing up to be closer to him.

 “MC, I love you,” he sighed as he pulled away to look at her. His brow furrowed. “No, those words don’t come close to expressing how I feel. You are the reason I open my eyes each morning and the reason I can sleep soundly on a night. You are the reason I draw breath. You are everything to me MC.”

 She sighed softly. “Saeran, I-”

 He kissed her again, tasting the words rather than hearing them. He didn’t need to hear them. He already knew how she felt. He felt it when they were wrapped in one anothers arms. He tasted it when her lips caressed his. He saw it in the way her body reacted to his touch.

 She loved him just as deeply as he loved her.

 He was loved.

 He was safe.

 And the tender warmth of her embrace was home.


End file.
